Lauryn Hill is the New Whitney Houston

I went to see Lauryn Hill last week. It was the WORST concert I have ever gone to...

let me count the ways:

1. The doors opened at 8 pm. She came onstage at 11 mutha fuckin 45 pm. It was a week night.
2. Her voice was horrible.
3. She kept telling the light guys to change things. She was bossy and unprofessional.
4. Same shit to the sound guy.
5. I know ALL her songs. I couldn't recognize most of them until they were almost done. I understand it will not sound like the cd. This was shit.

Most of all...she looked like a crack head:

How do you go from this:

To this hot mess?:

I learned a valuable lesson. There are tons of articles about how bad she is in concert these days. I could have saved 70 bucks. We left (along with many others) after 4 songs.

Her DJ was great. I wish he would have just played. I just tried to find his name. I think it was DJ Rampage. I found this comment in the Orlando paper. Apparently I was not alone in my review:

Are you kidding me with this positive review of lasts night concert? It was absolutely awful! The opening act with the brass band looked and sounded as though they just decided to go up on stage and preform since HOB knew she was running late. Horrid. Then after another hour of just waiting her DJ came out and I will admit played some good old school hip hop and reggae. After about 45 minutes of that though the crowd grew tired because of course who were we there to see…oh thats right Lauryn…and where was she….oh yeah not there. I actually saw one woman sitting in a chair sleeping waiting for this woman to grace us with her prescence. When she FINALLY did come on at MIDNIGHT she looked liked a HOT MESS and made no apologies for being late. Her voice was good…not great but this really didn’t matter since any of her songs were recognizable! They were mostly rock renditions of HIP HOP songs. People started to leave not only due to a POOR PREFORMANCE but EXHAUSTION. What a disappointment Ms. Hill!

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Is Confidence in Women Cultural?

Sulie and I went to see Lauryn Hill at the House of Blues last week. I used to LOVE her. She now resembles Whitney Houston. That's another post. This one is about body image.

Penelope Disclaimer: I am making observations. This is in no way meant to be racist.

I noticed that all of the black women at the concert were working it. It did not matter what size or shape. They stood tall and were proud. There were no slumped shoulders. Everyone was smiling. I wondered if they measured their food, stared at the scale or berated themselves when they looked in the mirror. I don't think so. Sulie said she thought it was cultural. I wonder if there is a different message given to little girls. One that instilled more confidence. 

I am not the only one that thinks it. I just Googled it and look at the hits:

The Vortex of YouTube

Have you ever gotten stuck in it? You start with one video that was sent to you. Then you hit related videos. The you click on most popular. It's like hitting a crack pipe. 2 hours later you've seen and heard  "Charlie Bit My Finger", "If he's a gonna come in here and kick my ask", and numerous puppy videos. Just in case you don't know what I'm talking about:

How did they teach this kid the accent?

I said, I'ma gonna kick his ask...

Online Dating Hell Part 1 (From a woman's perspective)

Online Dating Hell Part 1 (From a guy's perspective)

I made this little video. I thought it would be funny to do a series about online dating.  It is my first try. I will keep at it.

The website is pretty cool : /www.xtranormal.com

Shit on a Do-Si-Dos

You know them--the Girl Scout cookies that are better than Nutter Butters? I just had a personal intervention. I threw the box into the trash. Emptied the cookies in with all the skank and THEN I put cat shit from the box on top. There is no way I can get to them now...

They don't look like Girl Scouts...

Bedroom as a symbol of relationship

I was watching In the bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman. She helps couples deal with relationship/sex issues. It can be entertaining, sad and/or quite funny. She always goes and looks at the bedroom. She says the couple's bedroom is a symbol of their relationship. There are couples that let their kids sleep with them. Some that one will sleep in the bed while the other is on the coach. The rooms can be totally messy or not decorated. I really thought LB was onto something...

It made me think back to bedrooms that I've shared with boys/men.

• College boyfriend: We had a blow up beach ball of a globe hanging from the ceiling, a second hand dresser, a double bed on the floor with a view of the parking lot. It was a loft, so it was cute. 
• G: We lived in a few places. I remember the rooms always being nest with the typical bed, night stands, and pictures.
• Bald Headed Bastard: It was his bedroom set. An ugly ass modern kinda Scan Design looking thing. It was sterile. And boring. 
• Husband #1 The Duke of Narciss: It was my bedroom set that was kinda girlie but we were poor. We lived on the beach and had a view of the Gulf. 
• Husband #2 Cheating Mutha Fucka: Really nice. Beautiful wood floors, sitting area, pretty furniture, kick ass lamps and I always had sassy bedding.

First, I would like to observe that I have shacked up quite a bit! But I digress. I don't agree with Dr. Laura Berman. My sassiest bedroom was violated by a Vietnamese 'ho. The happiest, sanest relationships were in apartments with rooms that weren't anything fabulous. It has to do with the people in the relationship.

WiFi Names

My friend in Seattle was searching for a Wifi and look what she found:

Big=Good
Floppy=Not Good
Donkey=Not Good
Dick=Good

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time!

As I walked into Publix today I heard the sweet little voice saying, "Would you like you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" I gotta do it again...one of my faves:

Blog Celibacy

This is the longest I've gone without blogging so far. I still have all the stuff in my head. As I fall asleep I think, "I need to write about that." I have a bunch of emails to myself with subjects and titles. I'll get back to it.