I figured out a sure fire way to lose weight. Today I was taking the cover off my grill and a palmetto bug ran up my arm. "Palmetto Bug" is a nice Florida term for a FUCKING ROACH! I will tell you what--I haven't wanted to eat since. I opened a box of crackers and I saw him. I went to eat some cereal and I saw him. I'm telling you--the pounds are going to melt off.
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