Yesterday was voting day for the mayoral run-off. Hope I used that word right. Who gives a shit--you know what I mean. It was hot as balls and even though I had the air cranked I was sweating. I had a dress on and I was walking up to the voting room. A lady with 2 kids said, "Excuse me, ma'am?". I said, "yes?" She crumbled up her face and said, "You have a stain on the back of your dress." I was surprised and thanked her. I then whispered, "is it ...ya know?" She looked at me puzzled. I said, "blood?" (sorry to my boy readers, but it's our cross to bear...) She said, "no, go in the bathroom and look", while pointing to the bathroom with a Nancy Grace scowl on her face. I go to the bathroom and it is your typical, run-of-the-mill Florida ass/leg sweat. Dead sexy, but it happens. I thought, "I needs to vote." I deftly angled my big ass purse over my back and went in. I was at the wrong church. I went to the Greek one when I was supposed to be at the Baptist one a block away. I decided to go around the corner to fix the STAIN. I blew my ass dry. Didn't take the dress off. Just cranked up the dryer. It was fixed in a jiffy. I was able to get to the church and vote with confidence.
As for the Nancy Grace twin--may your ass be sweaty all summer.
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