Thinking something crappy...not so bad.
Saying it out loud...Bad.
Having those moments where you can literally see the crappy words in the air like they are in a cartoon bubble as they come out...Really bad.
I was talking to my sister about some of the shitty things people have said to her since she lost her job. The Top 3:
- Maybe now you'll save...
- I'm really busy, can I call you back?
- Listen to what happened to me today...
Do these people know how callous they are? Do they have any idea how crappy those comments sound? Who knows? As the resident Punisher™, I advised Sulie to discontinue contact with any of the Top 3 offenders.
It made me think about what I do when I say something crappy? A couple of weeks ago I went out to lunch with Sulie. I took Daisy along and we sat outside. As I was enjoying my waffles and friend chicken (I shit you not--it was Soul Food Sunday), daisy decided to jump in the lap of the lady in the booth behind me. I jumped up to apologize and saw it was a old friend I hadn't seen in years. We had drifted apart after I moved to Louisiana. We quickly caught up and I was thrilled to hear that she had met a new guy and was engaged. She had been involved with a married doctor for 14 years when we were friends. Our crowd always hated him and hated that she was wasting her time with married doctor I have no intention of leaving my wife man. As I left I waved and said, "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! I know it was a long time coming..." WHAT THE FUCK! Do I have Tourettes? I could see the words in my imaginary cartoon bubble. I wanted to get out my big imaginary eraser. I didn't mean it to be hurtful--I was like, "hell yeah, it's been a long time coming and you deserve to be happy." Instead I sounded like a beeotch. I rolled my eyes as my old friend smiled and waved. She knows I am a goof and that I have a good heart, but is that good enough? I have thought about calling her and apologizing but then I wondered if I was making a big deal out of nothing. 2 weeks have gone by--I think it may have exceeded the statute of crappy comment limitations. I have learned a lesson. From now on when the crappy comment escapes (I am confident there will be more), I will acknowledge it and apologize.
Did the crappy commenters to my sister know that they were being assholes? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I want to Punish them. Hell yeah.
Well I think that's a good example of saying something hurtful when you truly don't mean to do it. I've done it. We've all done it. I know someone that turns anything I say into something about them every time. Does it make them a bad person. Not sure.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, whoever said "Maybe now you'll save...." needs to be slapped. That was pretty rude.