Friend Inventory

I can't take credit for that term. My sister just used it on the phone. I totally got what she was saying. I tend to think of my friends in categories: 

• Work friends: You work together and you bond in the BS of work. You can hang out at meetings, but you probably wouldn't be friends otherwise.
• Childhood friends: Friends since you were little. You can go for years without talking and everything is good when you see each other again.
• Nurse friends: More than a work friend. Went through hell together (like 'Nam, but in scrubs instead of camo). May or may not keep in touch, but like a childhood friend you can always pick up where you left off.
• Neighbor friends: You go to parties at your respective homes, help each other out, but stay out of each other's business. Sometimes become a true friend (Polly).
• Sister friends: Relatives that totally rock and are a true friend (Sulie and Jackie).
• Friends that are a boy: A guy friend that you can totally depend on yet you would never want to date/do (Birch).
• True friends: Someone you can depend on. There is a give and take. They remember the little things and get you. 

It is sad, Sulie brought this up because she was saying how she has really seen who her true friends are lately. I knew what she meant. After the John/Back Surgery/Get Laid off time in my life I went through the same thing. It has made me think about what kind of friend I am and who I want to have as a friend. In the past few years, I have started to speak up if things didn't feel right with a friend. Some have been receptive, others have not. Two years ago I "broke up" with a childhood friend that I had known since I was 14. She lives a few miles from me and we shop at the same Publix. I sometimes drive past her and it is weird. Her Mother once said to me that we couldn't expect the friendship to last 30 years and that we had grown into two very different adults. It was true, but sad. 

100% Evil

I had a conversation about this today with Polly and Sulie. When someone does something really shitty does it make them a "bad" person? For example, how John conducted himself. Is he evil? Is he bad? He is an extreme example because he obviously has deep problems (I am not being sarcastic. I truly believe he is damaged). I remember really struggling with the fact that I had lived with a monster. I didn't realize good and evil was such a big belief in my life.

Okay, let's move on to other examples. Can a relatively "good" person make bad choices and still be an okay human being? The next example that came up at lunch was Special Ops Boy. Polly said, "What about that guy? He intentionally deceived you." It made me think about things. When I sent him You Are So Busted Email, he replied that he tried to stay away but then he would hear from me and then he would continue. If I knew he was married, I would not have ever talked to him again. That is intentional. And deceptive. I would say it is profoundly immoral and malevolent.

My good friend Birch told me once that when he got serious with his girlfriend he contacted a woman he had been seeing off and on. He said something like: I enjoyed spending time with you. I met a great lady so you and I are not going to have sex with each other again. The lady said something like: Bummer. I'll miss you. Good luck and thanks. Respectful. Adult. Honest.

I think about Spencer. He drove me crazy and he was a bit wacky, but he was not evil. Same for my 1st husband and other men that have been in my life. 

I was telling my sister and friend how a married co-worker from out west put the moves on me this last week. I shut him down by physically picking his hand up off my leg and flinging it away. I wondered what it is that I emit that lures in the married man? Do I have some type of Come to Me Married AssClown pheromone? I am serious. 

I think we all face 100% Evil at least once in our lives. I just need to make sure I avoid it next time. Just like I flung that guy's hand off my leg, I will fling liars and cheaters away!

evil |ˈēvəl|adjectiveprofoundly immoral and malevolent : his evil deeds | no man is so evil as tobe beyond redemption.• (of a force or spirit) embodying or associated with the forces of thedevil : we have been driven out of the house by this evil spirit.• harmful or tending to harm : the evil effects of high taxes.• (of something seen or smelled) extremely unpleasant : a bathroomwith an evil smell.