I got an email yesterday from a guy that read the blog. He commented that it was intense and that meant I was intense. He also said there was a lot of energy and he wasn't sure if it was anger. He commented how I was obviously stung by a man and hurt by it so many years ago. I read the email a couple of times to make sure I understood it. I felt my cheeks turn red. Not anger...embarrassment. He asked if I felt like it would make it difficult for me to get into a serious relationship again. Email is so hard to get sometimes--I'm in a thing with my boss right now about communication gone haywire. But back to this...I've never censored what I write. I certainly have hit "publish" and then wondered if it was too much. Usually the posts that make me a bit nervous are the ones I get the most emails saying things like, "I feel that way too!"
I don't think the guy meant the email to be mean--he was just writing what he thought. I replied and said I wrote how I felt at the time. I laughingly thought to myself should I change the blog name to the "She-Woman Man Haters Club"? Then I really thought about it. Can you put a timeline on anger? Is there an acceptable amount of time to be hurt before a siren goes off telling you that your time is up? I've got 2 kinds of readers on here. Close friends and complete strangers. My friends would say I am not this bitter woman punching her way through life. I told him in my reply that I did not feel defensive, but I will admit this morning I am starting to feel like I should type things like "but, but, this, this and this happened....!" I'm not going to do that. 3 years ago I could have eaten my way to 200 lbs, drank a bottle of wine a night, stayed on my sofa watching some dumb ass Housewives show and chanted "All Men Suck" until the end of time. Instead I gained 10 lbs, drank 2 glasses of wine a night and ate tortilla chips for dinner while watching trendy series on HBO and Showtime while chanting, "I can't believe I didn't see it."
I think there is a continuum of hurt and anger. We all have different timelines and don't necessarily process things the same way. I met a couple of guys post John that were toxic (Spencer and SOB). It makes sense that if I was still mired in the gunk that I would attract equally unhappy people.
Perhaps this is an opportunity for a new invention? Chappelle hit on it in one of his sketchs:
Wrap It Up Box - watch more funny videos
