The Punisher™ out for a Saturday Stroll

So I've been stuck in the house since Thursday, sick, sleeping all day and feeling lousy. I decided to head out to the grocery. I was overwhelmed by all The Punisher™ opportunities. But the ones that needed punishing were adults!

• Exhibit A: South Tampa snooty-petooty displaying her new baby in her fashionable strap on contraption. The baby looked to be 6 weeks old tops. Penelope may not have kids, but I was a peds nurse. Mrs. S. Tampa Mommy is talking to another one of her S. Tampa comrades. They are oblivious to poor Miss Baby. Her head is completely flopped back. It hurt to look at her. I had visions of my Mom doing impromptu childcare lessons at Publix when we were little, It was mortifying. She would show strangers how to support the neck and do inservices on the fontanelles. She felt the fact that she was a pediatric nurse, worked at the health department AND had 3 kids gave her full license to teach on the proper way to hold a baby. I struggled, I twitched but I held The Punisher™ at bay.
• Exhibit B: In parking garage of Publix. I see one of those labradoodle looking dogs sitting in a SUV. I look closer--all the windows are up and the sunroof is closed. The Punisher™ is really on fire now. I write a note, "DOGS NEED AIR TOO!!!!" and slide in the rubber of the driver's side window. Mr. LabrapoodleDoodle doesn't even move (because he's probably oxygen deprived). I was going to go in and have the owners of the fancy Lexus SUV that are killing their dog paged, but I stopped myself. Sulie got reamed by  woman a few months ago when she ran into the store and left her dog in the car. She had the window cracked though. The Punisher™ hops in the racing blue Taurus and heads to Walgreens.
• Exhibit C: The Walgreens experience was benign with no need for punishing. As I am slowly driving through the parking lot I see a shiny new Mercedes backing up towards me. I slammed on the brakes and honk my horn sure that the guy would stop. He didn't. I hurried up and put the Taurus into reverse. He missed me by inches. He wasn't leaving; he was still parking. There was a lady watching and she shook her head. I rolled down my window and waited for Mr. Mercedes. I might add that since I have been sick I have bathed, but my hair has gotten no attention, I mean NO attention. There I am all crack 'ho looking with my wild eyes in the blue Taurus. Mr. Mercedes is short and fat with that ruddy, grey colored drinker look. I said, "did you even look behind you when you backed up?", he says, "nice lady, yes I did", I said, "there is no way because you barely missed me and you kept backing up", "He said (in a more menacing tone with clenched fists as he walked towards my car, "I said, you're a nice lady, go have a nice day". (Okay, he was trying to use some fucked up reverse psychology on me) I had some psychology for him...I said, "yes, I am a nice lady, and you're a tool and I bet your's is little" (while holding up my hand to show small size), he then raised his fist and I laughed and rolled up my window.

Ahh, The Punisher's™ work is never done.