How Q-Tips End Up in Weird Places

When Sulie bought her house we found a used q-tip in the floor. It was gross. I've come across many random q-tips through the years. In the road when I walk Daisy. In a parking lot. I once saw one on a friend's bedroom floor. Why, why, why all the q-tips? I'll tell you why. People get distracted. Last night I was performing ear hygiene in the privacy and comfort of the master bath. The phone rang. I removed the q-tip from my ear and swiftly walked to the phone. It was my niece. We began a lengthy conversation about deep things. I found that I was gesturing as I spoke with the q-tip waving like a conductor's baton. I put the q-tip down. Not in the trash mind you. That would have been too easy. I finished the conversation and the q-tip was no longer on my mind. Imagine my horror when I saw it this morning on the ottoman in my living room. That, Dear Readers, is how q-tips end up in fucked up places.