Sometimes I wanna kick AMEX in the box

I have a love/hate relationship with American Express.  Way back in my nursing days I had the green card. I kept getting things in the mail saying, "As a small business owner you deserve the benefits of a corporate gold card." I would always shread them and put it in the trash. One day I was feeling a bit frisky. I filled it out, called my company Sassy Inc. and made my cat Penelope the VP of Sales. A few days later I got a gold card. As the years have gone on they moved me up to a platinum. I can kick it into the airline rooms and drink all the coke and eat all the crackers I want. Every once in a while AMEX will call me to update their files. They ask, "What is Sassy, Inc.?" I always say I specialize in accessories. One night when I was married to John I used it to pay for dinner. The server (a young girl) asked "What is Sassy, inc.?" John replied with a straight face, "We pimp out baby strollers. You can get spinners, different colors, racing stripes, whatever you want." I kept a straight face and nodded. She said, "that is so COOL!" (he did have some good qualities...) It got to be a game of who could come up with the craziest description of the "company."

When the economy tanked they decreased my limit from unlimited to $50,000. (First of all, who needs a 50k limit?). I understood because it was the creditors protecting themselves. Today I got a letter saying "Congratulations, you can spend all you want" (not the actual wording). Cuckoo. AMEX is the one you gots to pay at the end of the month. I've had some months where I've opened it and said bad words. It's comforting to know I can go buy a Porsche now if I want to.

The VP of Sassy, Inc. May she rest in peace. The cat that used to bring me dead fish when I lived on the beach...PENELOPE. Here she is taking a break between meetings.