Door to the PAST

I had an awesome meditation class tonight! In all the classes we have learned different techniques to mediate. I really like the guided meditations. It is one of the few times I get my mind to slow down. Tonight we did one where we were standing on the beach. There were lots of images about the sand, the surf, the heat of the sun, etc. We were told to look to the right and there would be a door. The door would have a sign that read, "The Past". We looked to the left, there would be a door with a sign that read, "The Future". We had to walk to the door to the right that symbolized the PAST (this is all in your mind that you are visualizing...) and we could see things from our past behind the door. I saw the boys, a cute, red convertible red Beetle I had in college and a toxic guy I wasted to the best years on my ass on in my late 20s and thirties. We were instructed to close the door and we found a key hanging on the doorjamb to lock the door. Then we turned to the left and went to the door to the FUTURE. There was a key there also. We opened the door and saw bright light. We envisioned all the great things that would come to us in the future. I saw things like work success, a Man and me working out! She then had us walk back to the water's edge and write "I love..." in the sand. We were asked to write all the names of who we loved--including ourselves (don't laugh my boy readers...) The water then came up and washed it all away (it was positive, but I forgot how she said it). Then we wrote, "I forgive..." and wrote all the names (including our own name). Yes, I wrote John's name, and the guy I wasted the best years of my ass on, and me (for wasting the best years of my ass). It was funny, the name of an old boss came to mind and I didn't want to write her name down. At that point I heard Lynn's voice say, "and all others". Whew--I was able to lump monster boss into the "and all others'' category!

It was really cool. Lynn tells us we can do this type of meditation on our own. I have a had time with that. I like to listen to things on my ipod. She suggested we record our own meditations and said that our minds are most receptive to our own voices. I envision myself sitting here recording a meditation and laughing. One of the meditations we were given in print says, "abdomen warm and flowing." Tonight I said out loud, "I don't like that one, it sounds like I have diarrhea." I had one of those non filter moments where the words come out and I hear myself thinking "NO!" as they are coming out of my mouth. Sulie busted out laughing and every time I looked at her after that the potty humor giggles got me going. Very mature. Very Zen.

Closing and locking the door on the past was very cool. I think it is very funny the red convertible Beetle came to mind. I sold it to a freshman girl when I was in college. Her Mom wrote me a check for it. The girl came into the bar at Chili's where I worked and ordered a strawberry margarita from me. I told her I could get in trouble for serving her since she was underage. She told me the engine on the Beetle blew up 1 week after she bought it. I brought her the strawberry margarita....