Lame Duck

I'm starting this one without having a title. I'm sure it will come to me. Later this month, my out of town liaison will be in Tampa. We've arranged to meet. I am not feeling very excited about it. Nothing against him. I just feel numb in that area. He sent me a text that said, "I can't wait." Oh no. I couldn't write, "me too!" I pussed out with a generic (:

Lame, I know. I am not flirty when we talk. I don't have it in me. 

Here are the wacko thoughts that have gone through my head:

• Great, I've lost it. I'm going to become that woman that talks to her animals and eats frozen dinners in front of the TV every night. 
• I wasted the best years of my ass and I can't get them back...
• My battle scars (as my friend Polly calls them) have created an impermeable bubble around me. 

Or could it just be that he is not my type? 

I feel like I'm in limbo. Thanks to extensive therapy, I really feel like I've worked through the bulk of the John shit. I did the prove to yourself that you are attractive even though your pig ex husband cheated dating/sexing thing. I've done the hermit thing. 

That is how I came up with the title "Lame Duck". I feel like I'm coming to the end of my bitter session. The out of town liaison can be the last little thing I do while I'm in office (pun intended). 

The Online Etymology Dictionary quotes Thomas Love Peacock who wrote: "A lame duck is a man who cannot pay his differences, and is said to waddle off."

It traces the term's journey into the political sphere in the late 1800s through President Abraham Lincoln, who has been quoted as saying that a "senator or representative out of business is a sort of lame duck. He has to be provided for."