The Smell of Lies

I send myself emails when I have a blog idea. I've had "The Smell of Lies" in my inbox for a while.

I have a really good sense of smell. I always do good at wine tastings, I'm particular about perfumes and I always know when a baby needs a diaper change on a plane. I don't know why, but I was thinking about how people act when they lie. I used to be able to smell it when John lied. I know it sounds crazy but he had a smell! 

Flashback with me to way back  when I was dating The Artist Formerly Known as My Husband™... I was visiting him in Louisiana. We were at the airport in New Orleans sitting at the Sonic waiting for them to call my flight. He looked at me and said, "when you get home tonight you will have an email from me. I want you to call me when you get home." I said, "Just tell me now." He wouldn't. I noticed his breath had a weird smell. Kinda sweet, kinda creepy. For my nurse readers--like the nasty ketone smell.

I didn't put 2 and 2 together since this was the first time I had smelled it. I flew home and got my email when I landed. John was telling me how much he loved me and that he had lied about being divorced. His divorce was scheduled for the next month. Haven't done this one in a while...Knock, knock. Who's there? RED, MUTHA, FUCKIN' FLAG! He was smooth. "I would have lost you if you knew I was still married, blah, blah, blah." You know how that story ended, BUT let's get back to the weird lying breath...

I noticed the weird lying breath a few more times. I didn't figure it out until the very end. Now that I look back I can list several times I noticed the weird lying breath:

• When John blew $2,000 at the craps table in the loser capital of the U.S.--Las Vegas.
• When he came home after "work" and he had golf hat head and sunglass tan. He had changed back into his suit. 
• When I got my American Express bill and he had charged $2,000 at Home Depot without telling me (and then did not have the money to pay it).

The list goes on and on. It smelled the strongest the night I figured everything out. My parting words to him were "your breath fucking stinks when you are lying!!!"

I think he was rotting from the inside out.