Wanting to be Someone Else

I was getting my roots done yesterday and my hair stylist told me her other client was in nursing school. She introduced us and the youngster was intrigued by the fact that I was a nurse and I no longer worked in the hospital. She pummeled me with questions (when all I wanted to do was read People and get the latest on Sandra and Jesse). She asked me for a business card. I thought about saying I didn't have one with me, but I'm not a good liar. She saw my life and job as quite glamourous. Little did she know that I had just left a restaurant where my friend and I were plotting how to find new jobs that were not in sales. I wonder how many times a day I do things to be someone other than me on the outside:

• I blow my hair out to get it straight. I also have a flat iron I use to get it really straight.
• I've spent more money in my lifetime on self tanner than I've spent on food.
• I get my brows waxed monthly  and everywhere else is lasered smooth.

It is funny, as she told me how hard it was being in school, I had to smile. I remember waiting tables while I went to nursing school. It was probably one of the least stressful times of my life. I lived with my boyfriend. The rent was $475. We split bills, but he often paid more (I thank him for that). I was still naive about life and medical care. I thought physicians were smart and infallible. Now it mortgage, property taxes, homeowners insurance, Blue Cross(which sucks ass by the way), Verizon, AT&T, City of Tampa, Tampa Electric, American Express. Most physicians are overworked, stressed out and make mistakes. My world view has changed dramatically. I would love to go back to going into work and my only goal was to make $100 and get out in time to meet my friends.

As my new friend was walking out I wished her luck on her state boards. I told her to enjoy this time in her life. She rolled her eyes like I was wacked.