My sister was venting to me tonight. I told her how writing it all down helps. I told her she could be a guest blogger. Here it is:
I have always wanted to be a guest on Penelope’s Blog. I look so forward to reading it, sometimes I know what Penelope is going to write and other times, I am completely surprised. She definitely has the writing gene of the family.
For those of you who have been following the blog, you know that I lost my job a month ago. It has been the most surreal experience of my life. It ranked right up there with the death of my parents and the death of a boyfriend. It was a death on so many levels. There for awhile I thought I was a suck ass accountant, therefore a horrible person. I thought this even though, I did nothing wrong and the reason I was FIRED was because I stood up to my boss, who was and will always be a spineless, jelly fish (and looks like the little son on Little People, Big World). See below...
That job had nothing to do with Sulie L. Collins, the person. That job was a means to an end…paying the bills, taking care of my pets and being able to do things with my friends and Penelope. That was my first lesson…my job does not define me. I define me. The job was killing me anyway. In the two and a half years I was there, I gain 20 pounds, lost a gall bladder, developed an acne problem and was forced to take Xanax on an almost daily basis to endure the absolute craziness of it all. I never want to be that person again.
I had some other lessons too. I have recently taken a friend inventory. This seems to happen every time something major happens in my life (and I am sure in others). You truly realize who your real friends are. This time, I have had my heart broken by the lack of concern that some of my friends had. I texted one friend to tell him the news and his reply was that he was sorry and that he had to call me later. Well, 33 days later...I got nothing. Another friend said to me after I announced I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, that “Maybe now you will learn to save”. No one from my department has checked on me, which is ok…they are the unlucky ones who still have to work at that toxic place. I am their greatest fear. Then just this past week, another friend defriended me on Facebook because he was weaning himself from it and figured that we communicated in other ways. That would have been great, but he kept up his activity and kept “friends” who were mean and hateful to him, because it was easier. I was really hurt and surprised by that. He was one of the few people I could share my feelings about men, dating and life and feel like he was truly listening. I know he did not do this to hurt me…it just feels that way.
What about the positive lessons? There are MANY. First, Penelope. We have learned a lot about each other and ourselves in the past month. We communicate in such a more honest and authentic way. I know this sounds like an Oprah show, but there were times I would not be completely honest with her because I was afraid of her reaction, but I have found that was no good and not fair. She has been 100% supportive and given me that pimp slap every now and then when I need it. Then there is L. L has talked to me probably every day since this has happened (and before too). She has listened to me cry, helped me write a letter to the CEO asking for severance (the bitch said no), given me advice on what to say when asked “Are you currently employed?”, and talked me off a ledge when I did not get a call about the job that I had interviewed. I feel like it has been the all about Sulie show, but L gets that and still wants to be friends with me. There are the two angels, J&J, who I used to work with who check on me, invite me to lunch, and let me know that I am not a horrible person. I have many friends like Mandy, Karey, Bob and Jennie who check on me and just listen. That is the greatest gift.listening. I know that Penelope has many friends who have asked how I am. You don’t know how good that makes me feel. I thank all of you.
I am doing great…I am waiting to hear about a job, where they have checked my background and talked to one of my references (he said I was CFO material.GOD LOVE HIM!!). I have applied for many other jobs and sheepishly enjoying my time off. I have picked up some side accounting jobs to fill in the void of the paychecks. I am truly a fortunate person. I know that this was meant to be. Yes, one door opens as one closes…but you have to keep moving to make those doors move. So..I keep moving and yes, I do have days when I prefer to stay in bed with Lexie, Max and Harry and then I remember, I have to keep moving.
