A few days ago I was at a function where one of my friends said, "What are you doing Saturday night?". Shit. That is the moment I try to think fast while arranging my face in the Truth Telling Look™...I stammer, "I think I'm going to dinner with..." She says, "Get out your phone and look, I'm having people over for drinks then we are all going to Ruths Chris." Again, shit. She peers over my shoulder as I scroll through my calendar. All I have listed on that day is Yoga and to check my hot tub. What kind of Type A wacko puts "check hot tub" in their calendar? I always hit ignore because I've already checked the chemicals yet I never take it out of my calendar...I smile and say, "that sounds great.". Shit. That sounds great? Ruth's Chris is a place I go to when work is paying. I eat steak about once a quarter and I always curse myself the next day. Not because I feel bad for the cow. Because it makes me feel like shit. The group involved have a strong relationship with alcohol and lots of it. And they are all...older. I am silently calling myself names as I enter it in my phone, "Why are you such a pussy?, You will be the youngest one there, You hate Ruth's Chris, No wonder you're single..."
As the time ticks away on Saturday I started to think of all the other things I could do on Saturday night. I picked up the phone and called my friend. She answered the phone, "Hello Cutie!". Have I said SHIT enough in this post? Shit. I am a firm believer in not lying. I told her that I had over extended myself and I would catch up with the group at a later date. She said "definitely" and "thanks for calling" in her happy voice and it was all fine.
My alternate plans were to go to Ella's Folk Art Cafe for dinner and music. I wore jeans and drank a beer from the bottle while listening to music. I flirted with the singer who was probably half my age and had some mean looking groupies with dreads across the room. I smiled as I watched a young girl dance with a hippie toddler (who was bare foot and Lawd knows what was on that floor...)
Next time I will not have to search for my Truth Telling Face™ when asked to do something that doesn't sound sound like something I want to do. I do enough stuff that I don't wanna, but I haveta (job, litter box, laundry, etc).
I am only going to say "yes" if my heart says "yes" first. I'll save the Truth Telling Face™ for emergencies!
You are so on point with this one! I can't tell you how many times I get stuck doing something I don't want to because I don't speak up for myself quickly enough. Just last weekend that happened, and I ended up resenting the time I spent in a group of people I didn't want to be with in the first place, and I am sure my attitude came through with my sarcastic comments on some of their stupid ass conversation. I have tried to make a promise to my "inner self" and do only what I want to say "yes" to socially, and this is just further inspiration. If it makes you feel any better, I had "wash all household screens" on my Saturday morning calendar.
ReplyDeleteDrinking beer from a bottle is the spice of life. The only positive thing about the Ruth's Chris thing is that there may be some men there that have the cash for an overpriced steak. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteJane--The fact you have wash all household screens does make me feel better. Sandy--EXCELLENT point!
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