No regrets

I saw "The Switch" today. I LOVED it. Jason Bateman is my new ideal man. Joe Dubois needs to watch out. One moment while I google a picture...

Oh yeah...that's what I'm talking about! It is the ultimate chick movie and it is good. The little boy in it is great too.

I watched the movie "Babies" yesterday. I wondered if it would make me have a wistful yearning. It did not. I do know that Americans worry too much about soft spots and supporting the baby's neck. The one in Mongolia was on the back of a motorcycle as a newborn and Ponijao in Africa ate dirt regularly while her neck was often at at 45 degree angle. Ponijao was my favorite:

In less than 24 hours I had a massive infusion of baby/kid movies. In my younger years I would have gotten "broody" (As my ex English 1st husband would say). The first time he came over to my apartment I had an Anne Geddes card on my fridge. He said in his cute accent, "Max (his nickname for me), are you broody?' I don't get broody anymore. I realize that I will not have a baby in this lifetime. The lyrics to Simple Kind of Life by Gwen Stefani used to kill me. She wrote this song before she had babies (with a different guy than she references in the song):

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

I was never that girl that knew I was going to have a baby. It would enter my mind off and on, but I was never convinced. I didn't have a strong sense of family and I don't know that I was ever really shown a good example of what a Mother looked like (Sorry Mom, I am hoping you don't read my blog). After I met John, I reconciled  that I would be a great Step Mom to his 3 boys. I can remember deciding that John would get a vasectomy. It was my idea. I had been on the Pill since I was 16 and I was 40. I had spent 24 years trying NOT to have a baby!  One night at dinner John told the boys he would like to have a baby that was part of me and him. We talked about it a lot. Over several months. I couldn't imagine starting a new family when John (and now I) had 3 boys starting high school and college.THANK GOD that did not happen! I can recall talking to J (the oldest boy) when he was 15 about it. He told me, "I'm glad you decided not to have a baby. We have enough chaos as it is." How adult for a 15 year old to have that observation.

When I meet women my age the questions often goes to "So...do you have kids?" It is interesting to watch how the conversation turns. Sometimes curious (is she barren?, a lesbian perhaps? a spinster?), often pitying (why not?, didn't you want kids?), occasionally rude (never met the right guy?, why not?)...I have learned to keep my mouth shut. In the past, I would try to make the question asker feel better letting them know I'm ok. Now I just smile and know that I have no regrets.