I just took Daisy the Dog of the Century™ for a walk. I get her to sit before I open the door and then she heads out. Sometimes she does it, other times not so much. When she does it I say, "Good Girl!" with the happy voice. You're probably thinking, "yeah....so?"
When I first got Daisy I would take her for a walks with my sister or friends and I found them saying, "Good Girl!" when she followed commands or went to the bathroom. It never occurred to me to praise her. One night I recall taking her out. She had done something that was praise worthy. I found the words "Good Girl" coming out in a weird stilted voice that was not mine. I noticed it was really tough for me to get out the happy "Good Girl" voice. It bugged me. A lot.
I thought about it and wondered what the hell was wrong with me? I thought about my childhood. I don't recall any "Good Girl"(s). It has taken years of therapy and wading through anger to realize my Mom did the best she could. She didn't get any "Good Girls"(s) either when she was growing up.
I usually have my posts written in my head before I sit down. This one I don't and I am not sure where to go. I shall bullet my thoughts:
- How does one make up for a lifetime of no "Good Girl"(s)?
- I want to tell everyone I know with kids to not be stingy with praise!
- And to get really deep and convoluted, I wonder what if I got more "Good Girl"(s) as I was growing up? Would I have skipped the abusive fuckwad boyfriend at 18, the long route to getting a college degree, the beliefs that I would always be poor and never do much with my life?
Who knows.
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