Moving forward

So, it is now a little over 2 years after I read the text that changed my life. It would be great if I could write some snappy reason why it happened and how it was a gift. That is not my way.

I have gotten so many responses. Ironically, my guy friends have been the most horrified.  Birch couldn't get past the texts. He said it hurt to read and he could not put energy forward towards John. That is my lovely friend that would often call me and ask "how is your heart?" Love him! Some of my girl friends have said it has scared them. The physical therapist I had after my back surgery who became a friend (let's call her Cherry) said, "it scares me about marriage". She went on to say maybe Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have it right. I am not anti-marriage. I am pro-honesty.  One of my big lessons moving forward is I will look for a mate that I truly have things in common.  I love Florida, the beach, I read like crazy, I have over 7000 songs on my ipod, sports bore me, and without getting all political, let's just say I think of Fox News as the Comedy Channel.  I married a man that lived in Louisiana, there is no beach, he never read, couldn't name a song, had season tickets to LSU and the Saints and voted for Bush.  I used to beat myself up with really kind words in my head like, "WTF, why did you marry him? Didn't you see all the red flags???"  He had lots of other fun qualities and I compromised.  I won't do that anymore.

I talked to Lynn (therapist extraordinaire) about dating again. I had tried sites like Match and  eHarmony about a year ago. I actually dated a guy for a few months (let's call him Spencer).  He read a lot, had similar politics, owned a home and liked to travel.  He took me to NYC for my graduation.  He had some unresolved issues that came up after our trip.  Next...

Before Spencer there was Special Ops Boy. He was my first... first man I got naked in front of after my divorce!  I was a wreck. I watch too many Law and Order SVU reruns. I had convinced myself everyone is a perp. He was very kind and I would "see" him off and on.  He now lives in the D.C. area.

There were other dates (do we call them dates?) that I can't even recall.  A couple that were married.  One that actually still lived with his wife as a roommate!  Hello???!!  He didn't understand why I said there was no reason to continue our meeting.

Another nice man that I met--let's call him Mr. Ireland. Let me give a shout out--I sent him a link. He was one that was surprised I had put so much out there. He is focused on being a good Dad and that is fabulous.

So my friend Polly is getting ready to launch a really cool new concept for meeting people. I am reluctant to call it Internet dating. I can't wait to tell you all about it.  I am probably going to be one of her first customers!  The web folks are putting the final touches on the site.

In the meantime, I am going to do another profile on match. I am boycotting eHarmony because they do not acknowledge same sex couples. Lynn suggested it is a way to get out there and experiment with talking, seeing what I like, what I don't like, etc. When I did it a year ago I was still reeling from the whole John thing and I wasn't ready to be with someone (mentally at least...)

Off to do my profile.  I need to get my neighbor to take a picture.  I got highlights done today!!!