Big Girl Thongs™

I had to put them on today. I sent Out of Town Liaison™ an email that we would not be doing it anymore. By "it", I mean IT.  He had asked me to go to the Keys over Christmas (I said no) and he recently asked me to go skiing. I needed to nip it now. It was a kind, well crafted email written mostly by my niece.   We tweaked it several times and read it out loud to each other (one time she did it in his accent). He wrote back a nice reply and asked me to call him. She told me I had to put on my big girl panties and call him. So I did. I waited a day, but I did it.  And it was weird.

People, have I mentioned that having sex like a man doesn't work? When I talked to him today it was obvious he kinda liked me. I had to lay a little, "we were just doing it, and you live far away, and..." Okay, I didn't say you kinda bore me. I think I hurt his feelings. I have become a man. He said he should have kicked things up a notch. I asked what he meant. Ugh. He also gave me one of those, "well, if you want some more blah, blah...and then said something about my boobs. I was in the Border's parking lot. I wanted to go in and get a GRE review book. Told him the conversation was making me uncomfortable and I had to go. I was the boy! Maybe I should have told him I was married with a kid. 

If he liked me, then why didn't he act like it? Don't get me wrong--I did not want the liking BUT, if this is his liking, what is his just fucking like? I shudder to think. 

They are all coming out of the woodwork. I got an email from a guy I dated a bit when I first moved back to Tampa.  He started with Hi Penelope, I don't know if you remember me, then he reminds me of where we ate and what bars we had gone to and when we saw each other (2 years ago). He was a young un. 27. Too young. That is why I said it wasn't working for me real quick. So he tells me he is single and he moved down to my part of town. Asks if I would like to get together. I write back:

Hi Tom,

Of course I remember you. I remember everyone that has seen me naked!

Unfortunately I am not available. I hope you are well.

Penelope

Apparently he thought I was putting out for all of Hillsborough county. I should have told him I still have the same box of condoms at my bedside that I had when he was here. They've probably expired by now.

Sulie told me that I was (and I quote because I can not make this shit up) "unaware of my sexual wantonness". Spell check didn't put a red squiggle under "wantonness", so I guess it is a real word.