Train To LadyTown™: Canceled

People, I'm not sure how to start this story. It is amazing how quickly things can change...here's the Cliff Notes:

• Wednesday night: Went on double date with friend and her beau. Guy was cute. Scratch that--not cute. Super hot, like MODEL hot. Smart, funny, total package.
• We exchanged numbers. Emailed and texted a few times. 
• I had the typical fleeting Penelope thoughts go through my mind. I bet you can guess them: I was totally watching for Red Flags. Hyper vigilant. What's wrong with him? Why me? He's too hot. I am a firm believer in equivalence in mentally stability, looks and intelligence when dating. Both my niece and my friends told me I was looking for problems. 
• Friday: We agreed to go out Saturday night when he got off work. 
• Saturday: There was texting (initiated by him) throughout the day. He started with, "I woke up looking forward to seeing you tonight." Okay. We only met once. Kinda bugged me, but I know I have baggage (carry-on and fashionable). He wrote (in reply to my question if we would eat dinner since we were meeting at 9), "Yes, "I'll save my appetite for you (:" Ugh. Cheesy. I analyzed it with a friend. She told me to roll with it. I found that I was turned off. I am telling you that if I was a teen now in the era of the text, I would be the girl that would leave her phone in her purse and be a total outsider.
• Saturday afternoon: He sends me (UNSOLICITED) a picture of himself. With no shirt in jeans. Posed. Like a model/calendar boy shot. The text with the picture says, "to stimulate your thought." (not thoughts--thought. My 1 thought). People, I can not make this shit up! Who keeps that kind of picture on his cell phone? My mind races. How do I reply? It's obvious he thinks he's on the train to LadyTown™. I ignore it for a while. 30 minutes later I get a text that says, "did you get the pic?". Shit, he's a wacko and a narcissist. This is a dangerous combination. I reply, "yes. I have been trying to think of a witty reply. Here it is--I guess the ball is in my court to send you a picture with my top off. Not happening." (I thought that was pretty quick. It was funny and I let him know the picture was kinda weird). 
• Friend's thoughts: I would love to post the picture but I can't--he has a high profile job and it would be shitty. Let me find something on the Intraweb that is simialr so you can get an idea. One moment, searching...found it! I googled "Old Spice Guy with no shirt."

My guy friend that I refer to as Costa on here wrote; "Shit. I don't know whether to fuck him of fight him!" when I sent him the picture. Miss Brown's husband said, "this guy is bad news. This is part of his play book. Steer clear. My niece told me to send him back a picture of my bush and write, "I had to pull over and fist myself after looking at your picture (hilarious, and NO, I didn't do that). My sister showed her gay hairdresser. He said he wished he was gay and was also concerned with the "too hot" factor. 

• Okay, I had to let him know that his PERCEIVED train to LadyTown™ was not leaving the station. The train was canceled. I wrote, "The picture was a bit too much for me. I'm canceling tonight. It was nice to meet you, I wish you the best." Translation: Dude, you're wacked, glad I dodged the bullet, please stay away from me. His reply was, "I understand" followed by "If I offended you, my bad, take care." I figured there was no need to reply.

All this happened in less than 72 hours. Just goes to show you that crazy can not stay bottled for long.