Knocking

I sent Annie an email a couple of days ago telling her about Daisy. She wrote back on Sunday (Mothers Day) and said how cute she was. She asked me if I had and iphone told me they were heading to Baton Rouge (where the boys now live for school and her family lives) and that she would knock me when they got there. I didn't know what knock meant. I googled it under iphone apps and it is an application where you can video something live and your friend can see it on their end. It does not have sound, but it is very cool. I downloaded it and sent Annie my user name. A few hours later I hear a knocking noise from my phone. I click on it and accept the "knock" from Annie. I see a big green back yard and she starts to scan the area. First in view is A. He is one of the twins. He smiles at the camera and makes a peace sign. I feel like I got to know their body language when I lived with them. A's smile was sincere and I feel like the peace sign was like an olive branch. The the camera goes to J. He is the oldest. He is throwing a football. He stops and turns to the camera and waves with a big smile on his face. Then the camera slowly swings over to H. The other twin. The one that would send me so many sweet texts. The one that when I lived there was always my favorite (I know biological parents always say they don't have a favorite. Perhaps I'm wrong, but he was the one that I really connected with. He is also the one that texted me when John told them to not speak to me. H told me "I never thouhgt you would do this to my dad."). The camera went to H and he was sitting at a picnic table with his hand over his forehead and eyes like he was shielding them from the sun. There is a pause and he removes his hand and does a limp wave. The camera then goes to Annie's husband and then to her where she smiles and waves. Then the camera goes off and I get a messgae that she has "left the knock." I sat there quiet for a few minutes. They had all grown so much. It was the first time I had "seen" them since I took John back to court and the judge ruled in my favor about the money he owed me. At that time, A. stayed quiet. J. had sent me an email telling me he understood my anger, but could I please stop the lawsuit and that he loved me. H. simply told me via text that he couldn't beleive I was doing this. Annie had told me that John told the boys, "There will be no money for college now because of Penelope." Annie tried to reason with them that I was getting back what was mine and that John has mismanaged his finances. That was about a year ago and I had not had any contact with the boys since then. I am not sure why Annie did that. I could almost imagine her behind the camera telling the boys, "It's Penelope, smile and wave!"  Watching H. look up with apathy broke my heart. I kept seeing it in my mind the rest of the day. I remembered how they made me a card on the first Mother's Day after John and I married. I got it out and looked at it. Then I just stared out the window a while.