Gifts that keep on annoying

I have one last installment on All that is Annie. It has to do with birthdays and holidays. For years she and John would get gifts for the boys to give the other parent for birthdays, Mother's/Father's Day and Christmas. I am sure that worked when the boys were very young. It did not work so well when they were in their teens and both Annie and John had remarried. I brought it up to John. He said he agreed and he would talk to her about it. I said I thought the boys could do chores and work for extra money to buy gifts. For example, one Mother's Day they wanted to get Annie a gift card from a spa. They wanted it to be 100 bucks. This was before they could drive. I had them washing cars, cleaning the garage and doing yard work. I drove them to the spa and we got the gift card. They worked for it and got to experience the true feeling of gift giving. Annie would continue to buy what she thought John wanted for holidays. It irked me. I told John I felt it was inappropriate especially since they were both remarried. He wrote her an email explaining that they were both remarried, the boys were older and there was no need to continue the practice. She got pissed (he showed me her angry response). I kept quiet (until I got to the shrink's office). My counselor encouraged me and assured me that setting limits was the right thing to do. Recall the Christmas DVDs? Ugh...there were all kinds of gifts-- clothing, music cds, framed pictures of the boys, a cast iron pot (I kid you not--for gumbo, sha!)...the list is long. I look back and I realize how much I felt like a visitor in my own home. One birthday Annie came over with the boys and brought a cake and sat in the kitchen to celebrate. I had a conference call with people from other countries and it had to be at 8 pm to accommodate all the different time zones. I remember sitting in my office with my headset on and I was SMOKING PISSED. The more I think about it the more I realize I could devote a whole separate blog to being a step parent. 

So...the reason I delved into all this All that is Annie stuff is to give background as to why I didn't think her sending me pictures of the twins was totally innocent. I have such mixed emotions about her. I said it before and I will say it again...we bonded through all this shit. I would get shivers when she would tell me stories of seeing him wet his shirt to look like he had been working out or taping his phone calls. She would say, "That Son of a Bitch" in her melodic Baton Rouge accent when I would tell her my stories. He was (is) a true life monster. I don't remember if I blogged this already, but when I spoke to Pao live I told her to save my number. I told her that I promised in a couple of years she would be blindsided by him too. I told her the only person that will understand will be me. I promised her that I would not say "I told you so."