So I called my lovely guy friend, "24'' today for some cheering up. He lives outside of Memphis. He is a nurse practitioner, was in the Navy for a few years and he's brutal (I say that with love). We have always spoken frankly about relationships and sex. I tell him my latest story. I was laughing so hard while I was listening to his response that I forgot why I called. Here are some of the profound encouraging words from 24 (imagine with a total Tennessee accent):
- Shit man, you let him ride bareback? Go to the doctor tomorrow and get Levaquin 500 mg for 3 days. That shit will knock anything out...well, except for the herp. (Thanks 24, like I hadn't thought of that. I'm allergic to Levaquin but I can do Cipro. That will kill any anthrax too)
- Then he proceeds to what he knows about vaccinations in the Navy...well, he (as in SOB) gets tested all the time for the HIV, he also gotten the hep vaccine, but you know hep C is virulent shit. (Right, I've had the Hep B vaccine too).
- He then asks me did you do a visual exam of his junk when it was in your hand (well yes I did, it appeared to check out, but the lights were dim)
- Then he proceeds with the whammy...if he met that chick who's now his wife while he was in the Middle East he might have the Black Hand of Bagdad!
It sounds like a really gruesome call, but it was very funny. I laughed until tears were running down my face. He said go to your Worried Well Woman Visit ™ tomorrow, get swabbed, get prophylactic drugs and don't do that again! He said to consider it a "cheap lesson".
Morale to the story: Use a Saddle Next Time
Morale to the story: Use a Saddle Next Time
TMI
ReplyDeleteYou may call it TMI--I say it is a way for everyone to learn from my experience and to stop and think before doing something stupid like I did. There can be real consequences.
ReplyDeleteYes. Meant it to be funny yet eye opening. Not sure if I offended TMI commenter or if they were joking. My blog is not for the faint of heart.
ReplyDelete