Unsubscribe

Don't you hate it when you get annoying emails from a place that you've only bought something once from them online? I always select the do not send me information section. I still get bombarded with emails. Pottery Barn can be just as annoying in email as they are with the catalogs. I was just "unsubscribing" to a few. It made me think about friends, lovers and acquaintances. Wouldn't it be great to be able to go online and unsubscribe to a relationship that isn't working (romantic or friendship)? I can see it now:

For Lovers

What would you like to do?

1. Discontinue the relationship completely
2. Still allow occasional sex, but no commitment
3. Texting and emails only
4. Occasional dinner, but only when I am bored. Don't call me, I'll call you. 

For Friends

What would you like to do?

1. Discontinue the relationship completely
2. You can leave me an occasional voicemail, but don't expect a call back

• Would you like to give a reason for unsubscribing to this friendship?

Yes, you talked about yourself the whole time. When something big was going on in my life, you wouldn't remember or care to ask questions. You complain all the time and frankly I find you to be mentally exhausting.