So on Monday night I took a sleeping pill and I was out before my head hit the pillow. I had set the clock for 06:30. I hit snooze several times because I really didn't want to lift my head off the pillow and think. Ugh. I got up and did my thing. I went through my day debating whether I should confront him or just let it go. I decided to write him an email. Dear Readers, you know I have a bit of a sarcastic side and I enjoy "colorful language." This is not for the faint of heart. I am going to exclude personal bits becasue I do have some decorum....
Note: I wrote the email to him like he was writing it to me. Background: He did tell me about dating a British woman in the Middle East before we met and he did tell me they were going to date again back in October of 2008. We didn't talk about it much since he moved. In his defense (and there ain't much of one) later we had talked about meeting up and I questioned whether or not he had a girlfriend. He told me my question made him think and we agreed not to see each other. I assumed this time they were not longer together. Remember assume makes an ASS out of U + ME. Dating and getting married are two different things in my dictionary.
Dear Penelope,
It was great to see you the other night! I keep thinking about the great blow job you gave me. It was such a nice distraction after all the training I’ve been doing. I really appreciate you being open to getting together without strings. It is really unfortunate that I have not told you I am married. I got married in January of 2009 to XXXXX. I rationalized that I didn’t owe you an explanation since we were not emotionally involved. So the British woman I had told you that I was working on “seeing where the relationship went” is in actuality my wife. We have a big house in Hughesville, Maryland. As you can imagine, 4,000 square feet is a lot for just two people. You can probably guess why we need the space.
What is even more disappointing, is the fact that I never gave you the option of deciding whether or not you wanted to fuck a married man. I should have known that you more than anyone else deserves better than that. You have been through so much heartbreak over the last couple of years. I also know that you are really struggling with trying to believe that there are really good people out there. I wonder why I thought it was ok to conduct myself this way? I hide behind my whole Special Ops Intelligence persona. I really am a very sad person.
I sure hope I did not give you some type of STD. I preyed on your trust and your fear of being hurt again. I made the mistake of playing off my birth date with my typical coy responses. Little did I know it would not sit well with you and the expression on my face led you to do some easy searching on the Internet that brought up my marriage record to XXX in Hillsborough county. It looks like all my recent training did not prepare me well for how I conduct myself in my personal life.
I will most likely shit fish sticks tonight wondering how you will respond to this information. You have my home address and wife’s name. I was really sloppy when I was commenting on being “Googlable”. If I would have played it cool, you never would have done a search. I knew that you did a deep search once in the very beginning to make sure I was divorced. You would never dream that I would get remarried so fast and lie. My risky behavior is very out of line with the façade I project. I may have to stop at the drugstore and buy Imodium.
One thing in my favor is that I know you are a very level headed woman and you see me for who I am. I need the adrenaline that this type of chaos provides, whereas you do not.
Thanks for everything,
Special Ops Bastard
More soon. Going to a trivia tournament. I think all my answers are going to RED MUTHA FUCKIN FLAG!
Note: I wrote the email to him like he was writing it to me. Background: He did tell me about dating a British woman in the Middle East before we met and he did tell me they were going to date again back in October of 2008. We didn't talk about it much since he moved. In his defense (and there ain't much of one) later we had talked about meeting up and I questioned whether or not he had a girlfriend. He told me my question made him think and we agreed not to see each other. I assumed this time they were not longer together. Remember assume makes an ASS out of U + ME. Dating and getting married are two different things in my dictionary.
Dear Penelope,
It was great to see you the other night! I keep thinking about the great blow job you gave me. It was such a nice distraction after all the training I’ve been doing. I really appreciate you being open to getting together without strings. It is really unfortunate that I have not told you I am married. I got married in January of 2009 to XXXXX. I rationalized that I didn’t owe you an explanation since we were not emotionally involved. So the British woman I had told you that I was working on “seeing where the relationship went” is in actuality my wife. We have a big house in Hughesville, Maryland. As you can imagine, 4,000 square feet is a lot for just two people. You can probably guess why we need the space.
What is even more disappointing, is the fact that I never gave you the option of deciding whether or not you wanted to fuck a married man. I should have known that you more than anyone else deserves better than that. You have been through so much heartbreak over the last couple of years. I also know that you are really struggling with trying to believe that there are really good people out there. I wonder why I thought it was ok to conduct myself this way? I hide behind my whole Special Ops Intelligence persona. I really am a very sad person.
I sure hope I did not give you some type of STD. I preyed on your trust and your fear of being hurt again. I made the mistake of playing off my birth date with my typical coy responses. Little did I know it would not sit well with you and the expression on my face led you to do some easy searching on the Internet that brought up my marriage record to XXX in Hillsborough county. It looks like all my recent training did not prepare me well for how I conduct myself in my personal life.
I will most likely shit fish sticks tonight wondering how you will respond to this information. You have my home address and wife’s name. I was really sloppy when I was commenting on being “Googlable”. If I would have played it cool, you never would have done a search. I knew that you did a deep search once in the very beginning to make sure I was divorced. You would never dream that I would get remarried so fast and lie. My risky behavior is very out of line with the façade I project. I may have to stop at the drugstore and buy Imodium.
One thing in my favor is that I know you are a very level headed woman and you see me for who I am. I need the adrenaline that this type of chaos provides, whereas you do not.
Thanks for everything,
Special Ops Bastard
More soon. Going to a trivia tournament. I think all my answers are going to RED MUTHA FUCKIN FLAG!
Best. Email. Ever.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you JCH. Fish Sticks will always have a special meaning to me. I whipped that one out in 5 minutes. Kinda funny that a intelligence specialist doesn't have a good poker face...
ReplyDelete