Bush Management

Ah Sunday morning...I just brought in the newspaper, children are riding bikes and laughing, I wave to my neighbors as they head to church and I am going to write about the Barbara Bush.

One of my friends has been dating a new guy. Things are going good and it looks like sex is on the horizon. She asked me if she should shave or keep it real down there. First of all, I was impressed that she felt comfortable asking me. I think the blog has broken down barriers! Women brought together to talk about the really important things in life such as bush management. We all know that first impressions are everything. Your cooch is a reflection of how you feel inside. It is like my neighbors yard. His bushes are unruly, the yard is yellow and there are lots of weeds. Sadly, he is not a real happy guy. My across the street neighbors have a yard that could be in Southern Living. They are always smiling and happy. I just realized you may say to yourself, "Hey Penelope, isn't this a double standard, you HATE ManGrooming?" Excellent point Kind Readers, but I feel this is different than ManGrooming. We women are in constant upkeep mode-hair, makeup, mani/pedi, lotions, perfumes, matching bra and panties and yes, maintaining the Barbara Bush. It is all part of the girl thing. A man that spends extra time shaving everything is not natural! Speaking of natural--when I was 24 I lived on Boulder, CO for a while. It is a beautiful place. The culture is much more natural. I lived there in 1989. No one had fake nails or boobs, the make-up use was minimal and hiking boots were the shoes of choice. I went to a gyn appointment for a regular check up. The nurse practitioner was doing her thing and her head pops up from between my legs. She smiled and said, "you don't need to shave down there, it irritates your sensitive skin." I blushed (I was young) and mumbled thanks. Ironically, the boyfriend I had at the time was the most noncaring about hair, make-up, etc. guy I ever dated. I don't remember if I told him what she said. I think back then I did the coiffed triangle look (now it's a landing strip due to the influence of strippers on what men look for). In case you're wondering, I kept shaving despite what the hippie nurse practitioner said.

When I say "shave" I am talking about around the sides and bottom but not shaving it all off. I think completely shaved looks like a little girl and that is just creepy. I've done it before for variety and to surprise the boy, but it just looks weird. One of the ladies I used to work with had her's waxed COMPLETELY every 2 months. I have tears in my eyes thinking about it. She said her husband loved it and she liked the way it felt. It is all personal preference. I've had guy friends tell me that their ex wives didn't wax or shave or laser and how it didn't look nice. or that they completely shaved but never had sex (that is a whole other post). Ladies, I suggest you bring up the topic of your front butt hair-do with your mate. Have them weigh in on how you should style it. In the meantime let's send out good positive thoughts to my friend that will be doing it for the first time with her new guy!