Doing it in your 40s

I'll tell you all a secret...I haven't ''done it" since the end of May. Thats almost 9 months. That is the longest dry spell I've had. Ever. Friends make jokes about cob webs up in there. I will have the occasional fear thought that my best doing it days are over. Special Ops Boy emailed me a couple of days ago. I told him about the lack. He generously offered his services. That does me no good when he lives in D.C. and he is in San Diego right now. Where does a girl meet a boy these days? One of my friends asked me to go out tonight. I sent her a text an hour ago that I was tired. I didn't have it in me to do the smile and act cute thing. I've gotten used to just worrying about me. I can watch Top Chef in bed with a clay mask on while drinking wine. I can spend all day Sunday reading without getting dressed. I can blast songs in the car and sing at the top of my lungs (p.s. Spencer used to tell me not to sing...Knock, knock Mutha Fucker, Who's there? Red who? RED FLAG!) A couple of my friends told me the red flag MF thing really made them laugh. I know I sound really angry, but I'm doing it more for your entertainment. Kinda. Back to the dry spell. I worry that I may lose my skills. Is it like riding a bike? (you never forget) or like playing golf (practice, practice, practice...) I keep everything ready--the Barbara Bush is managed by laser hair removal, I always wear nice thongs and matching bra (you never know who I might meet at Publix), I floss and brush religiously...I am starting to think I need to strap on some granny panties, cancel the laser appointments and I will meet my dream guy!