One of my friends (Betty) just texted me that she bought her friend the Loud and Clear™ (yes, it has a ™ just like my favorite product, the ManGroomer™). She said it was so her friend could listen to their husbands talk. I was not familiar with the Loud and Clear™ . A quick Google search cleared things up for me. Betty did follow up with the LOL, but I suspect there is some truth to the purchase. There is a reason she needs to hear these conversations. Betty is married to hmmm… let’s call him Dick. If Dick were a cartoon he would look like this:
This leads me to the topic of texts, emails and the need for Loud and Clear™. I talked to another friend today. She is going through a divorce. She has evidence that her husband has been reading her texts. This friend is a Mom of 2 young boys, works more than full time and I can't get why he feels the need to read her texts. I actually have numerous examples of email reading, text reading and general distrust among my friends and their friends, and so on, and so on.... Look at me—I never was a text reader until I felt like things weren’t right. John’s friends would tell him how “cool” I was because I “let” him go on golf weekends and man type outings. I am a firm believer in having your own friends and space. One of my guy friends told me he thought Facebook was toxic for marriages. He had a friend (okay, I’m getting all urban legend now) that had a friend that was married to a woman that used to be great but THEN she got on Facebook and started drinking wine during the day and hooking up with an old boyfriend. I discussed this with another girlfriend. She said she and her husband are both on FB. They are not “friends” on there and they see it is a way for them both to communicate with friends and socialize, but they maintain their own identities. So Dear Readers, I get to my question: What happens that takes us from being ourselves in a relationship? We go from being confident and trusting to listening for the vibration of a BlackBerry and figuring out the best time to sneak a peek. Let me take it a step further—was there more trust before we got bombarded with technology? I think back to my parents’ time. There was the cool phone with the rotary dial and that was it. If you wanted to spy on your husband, you had to get in the Cutlass Supreme and follow him. It is so exhausting now!
Back to Betty and Dick. I am not sure what her friend (let’s call her Vicki), will hear when she straps on the L and D™. Dick is a dick and his dickness is confirmed regardless of technology. If Vicki were a cartoon, this is what she would look like (note she is wearing the Loud and Clear™):
All of this makes me tired and sad. Why be married if you cannot trust? Trust is the most important thing..but be aware, I am 42 and not married. This may be why...
ReplyDeleteSulie C
What continues to astound me is how these "dicks" continue to remain in their marriages despite their "dickiness".
ReplyDeleteKids - the only reason
ReplyDeleteI was at a a surprise party the other night and this girl, I will call her Shelly, could not believe that she didnt know about the party. I asked her if she didnt wander about all the texts going between her husband and her best friend. She said, "oh I dont read his texts, he keeps that thing locked and I don't know the code." her other friend, "Margot" piped in with, "well you better know the code! That is crazy that you don't check his text history"
ReplyDeletehmmmm...I think BOTH of these are a step in the wrong direction. I can and do look at the hubs texts, but not because I think I will find something, just because it rings when I am standing over it or whatever AND he cant read em without his glasses so I read em for him. lol
But the LOCKING thing...scary if you ask me. Just my opinion....A
Big Mama (by the way there is nothing big about you but your voice!),
ReplyDeleteI agree. Back in the day John used to say, "Baby, who is that?" and I would look or I would use his phone to text our friends. We even had the same pw on our Blackberries so it was easy to remember. I noticed he had changed it in the same time period as teeth bleaching and Mangrooming™. I went to make a call. I asked why he changed it and he said something dumb like it was hard to enter the other one because it had capital letters and numbers. Knock, knock, who's there? Red. Red who? Red Flag!!!
Sorry. I don't buy the "kids" excuse. Kids learn by watching their parents, so a boy learns how to treat a woman by watching the father, and a girl learns what to expect from their husband by what their mother is treated like. Staying with a man that is "bad" only prolongs the string. Its not about the kids. It's about comfort. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHi--I see that someone posted "kids". It is hard to get if that comment was something like sometimes couples stay together for the kids or kids change the relationship. JCH sent me an email saying he did not want to offend--I published his comment. I get what he is saying. I think staying together for the kids has changed dramatically with each generation. I have several friends that are going through tough times in their marriages. All of them have at least 2, if not 3 children. They have all stayed together ultimately "for the kids', but each one of my friends has/or is in the process of reaching their limit. We all have different backgrounds and thresholds. I think to my situation. I was so fortunate that it was just me. What if I had to pack up a baby or two and leave? It makes me shudder to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI think knowing you Penelope that you would have left still ... you're a strong woman.
ReplyDeleteStaying in a loveless marriage where disrespect and complete hatred for one another is rampid is by FAR worse for the kids than a divorce. JCH Has it right! Children learn from their parents, and they will learn how a marriage "works" by watching their parents. I believe it is 100% better for the kids if a toxic marriage ends in divorce.
ReplyDelete