Sex Addiction Part Deux

On the show I watched this morning they interviewed Susan Cheever. She has written a book on sex addiction. I bought it today and I have almost finished it. It is hard to put down. It must be like reading my wacky blog (several strangers have written and asked me to write more because they can't stop reading--makes me laugh. People, this is my LIFE!) I was going to write a synopsis on the book, but I found a good one online-

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/16/books/review/Cain-t.html

I think I bored my poor sister to tears talking about it at dinner tonight. The review above says the author brings up more questions than answers (I agree). The big one is what differentiates an addict from an abuser. Sulie and I talked about alcoholism. We are big on walking or taking cabs when we drink away from home. I told her I thought someone with a DUI is most likely an alcoholic. She gently told me that I was mostly likely over the legal limit the other night when I left Ciccio and Tony's after a glass and a half of wine. Touché little Sulie. I said "But I had dinner and that is not that much." The reason I made my sweeping DUI judgment was John (but of course, you knew that already). One night early in the marriage, John came home drunk from the golf course. He had his go cup in hand. I was PISSED. Penelope enjoys a beverage from time to time, but the drinking and driving thing drives me nuts. Short story long, I exploded, he denied it, he reeked of bourbon and the go cup said it all, he left in a huff. Annie called to ask him something about the boys. I told her what happened. She let it "slip" that John had gotten a DUI a few years before. In the typical, good ole boy ways of Louisiana, his good friend the DA (district attorney) was able to get him out of it. Luckily (sarcasm intended), John had the foresight to pass out and crash into a pole in his college buddy's parish instead of Lafayette Parish. I've lost count of red flags--let's call this Red Flag number 256. Of course, John had never told me that and to make matters worse, Annie begged me not to tell him I knew. Annie was the one that bailed him out of jail! I paced, I called his cell (it was off) and an hour later he came home. He apologized, he told me he wouldn't do it again and he knew I was mad because I loved him. I held the DUI info in for a long time. I don't recall the exact time I dropped the bomb that I knew. He was furious at Annie for telling me (not mad at himself for being a bold faced liar).

I just reread that and said out loud, "GIRL, why didn't you see all this?" I am telling you he was smooth. Clean cut, polite, said all the right things--A salesman!

My friend JCH wrote a comment about me saying that I wanted to run when John told me about his dysfunctional childhood. I think we all have varying degrees of dysfunction. It is what you do to move past it and how you operate in your relationships that matters. I'm still not sure if I understand why one person that has suffered as a child grows and thrives emotionally, while another one tries to numb the pain with drugs, food, alcohol or sex.

This shit is too heavy. I'm going to Google some ManGroomer™ humor...