More thoughts on pain

My good friend who was my mentor when I was a new nurse (even though I am a couple of years older than she is--I was a late bloomer), has been reading the blog.  Let's call her Betty.  If Betty was a cartoon she would look like:

Sidebar first--I graduated from nursing school at 26.  I took the on again, off again route through school.  I moved to Boulder with George and did the wait tables/ski thing.  So I had a preceptor when I was a graduate nurse named Carol (bitches get to keep their real names...).  She turned to me one day and asked how old I was?  I said 26.  She wrinkled up her nose and said, "what have you been doing with your life if you are just now a graduate nurse?"  I smiled and replied, "you know, doing drugs and turning tricks."  She kept her comments to herself after that...

Well, back to Betty.  I had not filled her in on all the sordid details of said break-up.  Last night she was enjoying some KJ (Kendall Jackson Chardonnay--her liquid of choice) while reading through the blog.  Every few minutes I would get a text--some examples:  "OMG", "Mangroomer--was it for the winkie?", "did you know about those websites before that night?"  I would answer--"yes, it is ugly", "no Mangroomer for the back (I think...)", "I knew he looked at porn sometimes, but not the looking for discrete encounters rancid websites with his own personalized pages."  Betty sent a text apologizing for asking questions.  She didn't need to.  It was so much yuck.  There is no way to move back to Tampa and meet for lunch and explain all this.  It is easier to write it out.

This has come up in dating.  As I get to know a guy the question will come up like this:

Him: "So...you seem really great.  What happened with your marriage?  I can't imagine a guy would want to let you go."

Me:  Neck blotches.  I gulp.  Mind races...shit, what do I say?  Here are examples of lines I have field tested:

• Have you heard of the website AFF, well...he was on there trawling for strange AND he had a 29 year old girlfriend that he took to our house and our bed...
• Well, he had different ideas about monogamy than I did...
• Thank you for the compliment.  Unfortunately I was married to someone that wasn't a good match.  
• And he lied, and I read the texts, and he mismanaged money, and he gambled and, and, and.....I sent her Vienna Sausages.

Bullet numbers 2 and 3 field tested much better.  Learn from me my friends--that is why Penelope is getting all out in her cartoon world with you!