Shatna

Okay, before you think I'm being foul, let me clarify: Shatna as in William Shatna.

My niece turned us (me and Sulie) on to Priceline®. She is 10 years younger than me. Her Mom is my Dad's daughter from his first marriage. It gets even more complicated because my niece's kids are my great nephews. Way to make me feel ancient. What shall I call her...hmmm, my niece shall be Jackie (as in Jackie O.). She is really beautiful and she likes to call the hotel operator and use a really articulate classy voice when asking for a wine opener at 3 in the morning. Back to Priceline®--have you ever used it? It rocks! We have it down to a science in Sarasota. The key is to know your star ratings. For example, in downtown Sarasota there is only one 4 star hotel. You bid crazy low prices for the area and star rating and eventually you wear them down. I love the anticipation after I enter $55 and I wait as the site tells me it is "negotiating". Let me describe the sensation--I hit $55 and I sit back. My hands sweat, my heart races. I whisper "do me right Shatna." It has now become the act of "Shatnaing".  Shatna is a noun and a verb. Shatna will sometimes play games and tell you "no". You just sign out and do it again the next day. The bell hops know us. The yellow Mini drives up with the cooler on wheels. They don't ask if they need a cart. They see the Mini and they just know. Last time Tommy Long Socks (bellhop that wears really bad black knee high socks and shorts) said, "Back again ladies?" We take a cab to dinner (safety first when Shatnaing). After dinner we usually stay up trading stories of family dysfunction (all from a place of love). Sulie tries to keep up, but eventually the Riesling gets the best of her. The next morning she usually has cloudy stories of waking up for a moment and seeing me dancing or Jackie changing the words to a song on my ipod. We have decided to Shatna at least once a quarter. I strongly suggest it to everyone. It is a way to get away even if it is not that far away. Tell them Penelope sent you.

If Jackie was a cartoon she would look like this: