The Punisher™

44 always scared me. My Mom was 44 when my Father died. She was 44 when she had her first heart attack. I always thought 44 was so old. I was so mad that my Father was dead. I was so mad that my Mom was sick. I remember being mad that they waited so long to have us--my Mom was 33 and my Father 43 when I was born. Back then 44 was ancient. Now that is customary. Oprah has made the 40s and 50s fashionable. Sometimes I close my eyes and I can remember what it felt like being so pissed off when I was growing up. I will see familiar glimpses of what it must have been like for my Mom when I am out in the world. About a year ago I was in a dressing room trying on clothes. I heard a teen age girl treating her Mom like shit a couple of doors down. The Mom wearily said she was going out to get another size. I waited until she left and said out loud, "I used to treat my Mom like that when I was your age...now she's dead." I was really dramatic when I said the word "DEAD". All I heard was heavy breathing. The girl was probably too scared to say anything. I smiled and thought to myself, "I bet that brat will do the dishes for at least a week." My sister calls me "The Punisher™." I tend to speak my opinion when I see something I don't like. I was staying in a nice hotel in Palo Alto for work a few years ago. I was going into my room the same time a Dad and his son were going into their room next door. The son had bright read hair and looked like he was probably about 12. He was "f this and f that" to his Dad. The Dad looked miserable. It was awful. I got out the pad of paper and pen on the desk and wrote, "Dear Carrot Top. What I just saw was disgusting. You should be very embarrassed. Don't ever talk to your Father that way again. You will remember this after he is dead and gone and you will never be able to take it back and you will feel like SHIT. Signed, Your Loving Neighbor." I walked outside and shoved the note under the door. The Punisher™! I told Birch the story at our meeting the next morning. He choked on his breakfast as he laughed. He said, "Carrot Top is scarred for life!"

You know the old phrase "It takes a village to raise a child"? What if we all became The Punisher™ in our own communities? There is a comedy skit about Latinos that they will discipline each other's kids. It is funny, but true. I'm not saying to lay a hand on someone else's child, but how about not accepting disrespectful behavior to others?

I am almost 45. I am not my Mom. My blood pressure and cholesterol are managed. I don't smoke. Ironically I am the same weight she was when I used to call her fat (I think that is some kind of Mother/Daughter karma!) I don't have children of my own, but children of the world better watch out! The Punisher™ is ready to set them straight!