I wrote the post on the Five Love Languages a couple of hours ago and it made me think of Annie. In case you are wondering, I have not sent her the link to this blog. She was so wonderful to me, but I know hearing the stories about John had to make her relive the horror of the shit he did when they were married. He must look for similar types in women (Pao is an outlier). You will see what I mean when I tell her story. Here is Annie's tale--while reading this, hear her voice with a thick Baton Rouge accent:
The boys were all toddlers--the oldest was about 3 and the twins were about 18 months old. Annie was a nurse and she worked the night shift, while John was a coach and chemistry teacher at a middle school. Annie sensed things weren't right. John would go out "running" by LSU for hours. She would find him on the phone late at night (this was way before cell phones). One night he went out to "play racquetball". Annie decided to take a bath and noticed he was gone a really long time. Their house was built in a way that she could see the driveway from the master bath window. She heard him drive up. Annie crept to the window to peek out. She saw John take off his shirt, turn on the outside faucet and he wet his shirt. He wrung it and then put it back on. That pig was faking sweat on his shirt! Annie waited. When I asked her how she kept it together she told me,"I had 3 little babies to take care of." This was in the day of the old caller I.D. boxes. She rigged up the box to the phone and hid box and the extra wires under the sofa. She saw repeated phone calls from the girls coach that worked at the same school as John. Annie then bought a machine to tape phone conversations. She was gathering evidence. This was Mama Bear protecting her cubs. On Christmas morning, Annie walked in exhausted from working the night shift in labor and delivery. She asked John to go to her Mama's (I am using Annie lingo) with the boys. She said she would shower and be over in the next couple of hours. Annie sat down to listen to the tape. She heard them plan when to get together next. Previous tapes had proven that John had met the other woman when he had the boys with him and she had been to the house (sound familiar?) This tape was the one that sent Annie over the edge-- John complained about having to go to Annie's family home for Christmas with his 3 little boys. Annie called John at her Mama's and told him the toilets were overflowing and that he needed to come home immediately to help her (she faked sounding upset that her home was getting flooded). She asked that he leave the boys with her sisters. When John got home he rushed into the kitchen to find Annie dressed and calmly sitting at the kitchen table. She had the tape recorder queued and ready. She hit "play" and watched John's face turn white and he heard his lover and himself talk about their next meeting. She told him to (again, say with STRONG BR accent), "pack your shit and get the hell out of my house."
Annie told me this story several days after I read the text. I could feel myself wanting to be sick. I was married to a man that would do this to the Mother of his children. They boys were babies! He had the woman to their home! It was the first moment of clarity...this had nothing to do with Annie, or me, or even Pao. John was sick.
I admit, I went back and forth with the thoughts of --what did I do wrong, why didn't I see, wasn't I thin enough, young enough?....in the end it all came down to John. I say that to everyone that is in a similar situation. Do whatever it takes to stop those questions. I could have been 120 lbs, with huge fake boobs, and 15 years younger. It wouldn't have mattered. (Penelope disclaimer--please don't think what I just described is what I think is the ideal woman). I must still be cute because truck drivers still honk at me.
Can you imagine being Annie? Seeing that ASS CLOWN at school functions? ugh. She once told e that John will always be in her life because of the boys. She said this with complete dread.
I usually try to tie up my posts with a pretty bow. I don't have one for this...oh yes, I do! Annie married a great guy 5 years ago. He speaks her love language!
