Do you know about the book? It is kinda corny, but it makes sense. The idea is that each of us responds to a certain "love language." A cut and paste from the website:
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Annie (mother of John's 3 boys) was totally into this concept. She and her husband had the workbook and really worked on speaking each other's "love language." I think there is something to this. Many of my friends will say something like, "he doesn't take me out" or "he never does the dishes." I find myself thinking (and sometimes saying aloud), well, he never did in the past so why would he start now? I read through those descriptions and I know I want Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. We know Penelope can get herself a piece of jewelry and Rodrigo cleans the house once a week (remind me to write about Rodrigo later). Funny...if I do a quick recap of past boys I can tell you none of them spoke my "language." I need to tread lightly because a couple of old boyfriends and my first husband have been reading the blog. Penelope disclaimer--Sorry guys, but I know I didn't speak your love language either! (:
I will admit that I own the Five Love Languages for Singles. I keep it hidden along with other great titles such as, He's Just Not That Into You, Co-Dependent No More and The Dance of Anger. I used to keep them hidden behind the basket where I keep condoms.Note to readers--do not keep self help books near the condoms. That is all I'm going to say...
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