We all know that "hate" is no longer in Little Penelope's vocabulary, BUT, do you have have fleeting moments where you remember something and "I hate____" enters your mind? Maybe you've got a different word or emotion, but what happens to our bodies when we have those flashes of emotion? You guessed it! Just like Lynn (therapist extraordinaire says), you want to Hurry up! Go back! Fix it! But you can't. Your mind doesn't know that. It keeps spinning. You may ask, "Penelope, what pissed you off today?" Let me tell you Dear Readers. I was just packing for a work meeting. I was organizing the outfits to go with the shoes, selecting appropriate foundations, and purse. I thought about Spencer. HA! Got you--you thought it would have been John hate. I really have moved past that. Ok, back to Spencer. Recall he is the only serious BF I've had since the divorce. He has a dork first name and cool middle name, yet chooses to go by dead unsexy dork name. He had that compliment you all day then zero in with the jab technique. He once asked if he could go clothes shopping with me because I had really bad clothes and he wanted to give me some input. Actually, it was more than once. "You're so smart, you're so funny, you're so pretty...you dress really bad and have no sense of style." At first I laughed, then called all my friends and Sulie to analyze (time waster and counter productive). Friends in the virtual world-- I know you have only seen a side view of me and a cartoon, but if there is anything I know to be the TRUE--Penelope knows how to dress. What a tool bag! He is an Ass Clown! How could he say that to me? When we were in NYC, he said "take me to the stores you like". We walked into the temple (yes, Anthropologie). He loudly criticized prices, fashion and pulled out things he knew I owned and ripped them to shreds (verbally). "Old lady clothes" he called them. I know, I know, "Knock, knock?, who's there? Red. Red, who? Red, CRAZY, Mutha Fuckin Flag!" I am feeling a cartoon coming on. One moment while I Google™...
If Spencer were a cartoon, He would look like this:
It is all part of the growing process. I had a flash of bad feelings, I know I can't go back and fix it. Now it's humor. Spencer is an adopted only child. He turned 50 while we dated. He had issues. I told him we needed to stop seeing each other. It wasn't totally smooth, but I know that if my old patterns were still here, I would be saying to myself, "oh but he's smart, cute, he's usually nice..." It's 2010. Penelope don't play that. Nor should you.
But you left out the best part...how he dressed, like he was getting ready to pull weeds in the backyard. Spencer was the typical example of someone who disliked himself so much, he took it out on other people. Truly a disappointment.
ReplyDeleteBut Dear Sulie, you forget that I operating on a higher vibration where criticizing Spencer is pointless. But since you brought it up--Girl, he used to wear cargo shorts every day, tired old Tampa Bay Rays t-shirts and Obama shirts. It got old, AND he drove a Rav 4. (Sorry, Lynn--it is a girl car!)
ReplyDeleteLopey...I am not at your level and I will crticize his dress because I can...
ReplyDeleteGirl! You've got more style in your little finger than I've had my whole life. In fact, I want you to be my personal shopper - PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteA Rav4, honestly, it's right there with a VW Cabriole (sp?) in being a girl-car.
- L