Magellan, GPS and Tampons

My friend Scott sent me this joke (he gets to keep his real name because he is REAL).

 A man said  to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

  So  stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

  'The  wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

  God made me  beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

  God made  me stupid so I would be attracted to you  !

  

John used to say (insert annoying Louisiana accent), "Baby, how can you be so smart and so beautiful, but so bad with directions?". Lafayette was built with a river going diagonal through it and the north/south and east/west dividing roads all had names that changed 3 times. He used to call me "Magellan". One day after I have lived there for ~ 6 months, I got lost finding my hair salon. I called them asking for directions. I got turned around and it made me late. I called him crying (I'm not usually a crier, but this particular day it happened). He came to the salon while I had color in my hair and asked for my car keys and smiled. I asked, "why?" He said I would see. When I went out to the car to leave there was a new GPS set up in my mini. I called him and told him how lucky I was to have him as a husband and how much I loved him. 

Give me a normal town with the coast was a guide for direction and normal diving streets and I can get around. I know Tampa, St Pete and Gainesville very well. Give me a town with a mucky river messing things up and stupid road names like Pinhook (doesn't that sound like something you need to go to the Health Dept to get rid of?) and I will get lost.

Another joke from same email:

 A man walks into a pharmacy and  wanders up & down the aisles...

  The sales girl  notices him and asks him if she can help him.

  He  answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his  wife..

  She directs him down the correct  aisle.

  A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of  cotton balls and a ball of
  string on the  counter.

  She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were  looking for some tampons for
  your  wife?

  He answers, 'You see, it's like this,  yesterday, I sent my wife to  the
  store

  To get me a carton of  cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of  tobacco

  And some rolling papers; cause it's  sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

  So, I figure if I  have to Roll my own .......... So does she.
  

I have never asked a man to buy me tampons but this makes me laugh...