I got back last night from a work meeting. It was 5 days in Ft. Lauderdale. It was the first time I met several people from other parts of the country since I have only been with this company for 3 months. I had forgotten how to answer one of my favorite questions, "So, do you have kids?" It usually happens at a reception when the asker and me both have glasses of wine in our hands. The asker has just told me about their family and they have just lobed the ball into my court. I know this next comment will make most of you laugh out loud...I am really private and I hate questions about my personal life. Seriously. On here I am anonymous. Anyone reading this that knows me is a friend that I feel comfortable sharing this stuff with them. I had some fantasy scripts in my mind when I was asked the question (over and over all week):
- "No, I don't have kids." I smile at the asker. Their face gets serious as they think, "poor thing." I keep smiling as I think, "I know you are feeling sorry for me and wondering if I am barren which by the way, I know I am not."
- "No, I don't have biological kids, but I have 3 stepsons, well they are ex-stepsons after their father fucked a 29 year old, didn't get a house out of my name and I had to take him to court so now he won't let the boys talk to me anymore..."
- "No and can you believe I was on the pill for more than 20 years? I guess it proves that shit works!"
- "No, but it doesn't mean that I am a child hater or a freak, so please stop looking at me like I am."
It is weird. With personal questions I am usually very direct with my answers. With the kid question, I feel like I need to make the asker (or me) feel better. I found myself adding explanations to my answer (this was usually to the woman asker that I liked). I wanted to let them know I'm okay. I've been married and I'm fine. It usually goes something like, "No, I was married and my ex's sons lived with us 50 percent of the time. It was a good experience. They are in college now." If I was lucky the asker smiled and didn't ask more questions.
I get the question alot too, so its not only women who get asked. I loved answering "yes ... I have 5 kids and 6 Grandkids" then watch as they try ot figure out how old I am exactly. I don't reveal that 3 are step-kids and all the grandkids are from them. None of their damn business. I think maybe a few on here have heard that reposnse from me about the number. The faces I get are priceless.
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