I sing in my car. Loud. I don't give a shit if someone sees me. I have direct eye contact with other people at stop lights. I smile at them as I get down. I just drove home from St. Pete and it made me think of a man in my not so distant past that would say, "do you have to ruin it by singing?" (say out loud with a not so manly, nasally voice). Ew. Ironically, my ex husband told me that the way I sang songs in the same voice as the singer made him laugh and it was one of the things that endeared me to him (for a while at least). As I was channeling Bruce in the car just now it made me think of all the things some men had told me not to do or that they didn't like over my last 25+ years of dating (if dating is what you call it).
Let's list them, shall we?:
- Singing in the car
- Eating nectarines for dinner
- Not eating dinner
- Eating too much dinner
- Not drinking enough
- Not being tan
- Dumb
- Being too skinny
- Being too fat
- Flossing (yes, one ass wipe said it wasn't sexy--I was in the bathroom doing it and he walked in!)
- Laughing too much
- Too smart
- Joking too much
- Not making enough money
- Being too serious
- Working too hard
- Not liking gambling or Vegas
- Making more money than him
- Reading too much (that was one of my favorites and it came from more than 1 guy)
- Wanting to be alone
- Liking the beach
- Not caring about registering for a fricking china pattern, silver, etc.
- Not liking or caring about the Bucs, the Saints, the Rays, the Astros, but liking the Lightening
- My taste in music
- The fact I love Florida. That's where I want to live. Period.
- Crying at the end of sad movies
- Waking up too early on weekdays
- Sleeping too late on Saturday
- Talking to the DVD when the actor is doing something stupid or it's scary (I don't do it at the theater. Much)
- The fact I've never had children
- Caring too much
- My politics
That felt good. Notice I did not list the Mutha Fuckas' names that said it? It is a small pool of repeat offenders spanning from 1982-Present. I have decided I am going to quit calling people out. Unless they really deserve it.
Need a title...thinking, thinking....
got it! Tooskinnyfatsmartdumbrichpoor
got it! Tooskinnyfatsmartdumbrichpoor
They say it just because they are jealous, or have low self-esteem and need to make themselves feel better about themselves. What ever happened to old-fashioned "loving someone for who they are"????
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Writing that list reminded me of how much I've grown up. Not being tan? (that was in my younger years) Cracks me up. I've started chemo on and recovered malignant melanoma patients. My white skin is healthy. And you know the "you read too much" will never fly again!
ReplyDeleteYou can never sing too much.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct my anonymous friend! you also can't laugh too much, or read too much and nectarines make a fine dinner.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is, except for the nectarines, I have been told many of the same things. They like the fact that you read and are halfway intelligent in the beginning, but then start making comments about like "Oh I am SORRY I am not as smart as YOU are" when I voice an opinion.
ReplyDeleteYou can never blog too much. Penelope, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I tell you that there are times that I am sad and your blogs lift my spirits. Thank you!!! Maybe one day I can meet you!
ReplyDeleteJCH--do you cry at the end of sad movies?
ReplyDelete